


What You Will Find

by SupremeQueenJade



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Depression, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Reader and Frisk are mute, Sign Language, reader is female, suicidal
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-28
Updated: 2016-04-02
Packaged: 2018-05-16 20:00:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5839042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SupremeQueenJade/pseuds/SupremeQueenJade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This fanfiction contains sensitive content. </p><p>If you or a loved one is struggling with suicidal thoughts please call 1-800-273-8255 or talk with someone you love and trust. </p><p>Summary:<br/>Your parents emotionally abandoned you after many years of struggling to meet their expectations. You have finally given up, believing that no one would ever understand. However, a fateful encounter may turn into a fateful revelation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Moonlight

**Author's Note:**

> WHELP.  
> It's been a looong time since I wrote a fanfiction.  
> I hope you enjoy it! c:
> 
>  
> 
> Also, naming things and summaries are a pain.

 

“I’m so proud of you, Vanessa,” your mother smiled at your sister, who was beaming. Your mother then turned to you with a scowl. “Why can’t you be like your sister?” You sighed. Here it comes. “Excuse me, young lady? What was that?” Before you could reply, your mother continued, “You do _not_ disrespect your parents that way. You’re 19 years old! While Vanessa is working hard, you haven’t even started college yet!”

‘But I—’ your mother grabbed your wrists to keep you from signing.

“No,” she said firmly. “I don’t care what you say. There’s no excuse for this behavior. Besides, you know I don’t know that hand-waving stuff.” You flinched at her words.

She let go of you and walked out of the room, Vanessa following her.

           

You flung your bedroom door open, which hit the wall with a huge thud. You heard your mother yelling at you as you closed the door. You threw yourself face first on the bed. You thought that as long as you laid there, you could suffocate and die and no longer put up with your

It was only a minute before instincts kicked in and you came up for air. You rolled over onto your back, closing your eyes. You wished that once, just once, that your family would understand. But no.

You began to shake. Your anger disappeared, quickly replaced by dread. Tears streamed down your cheeks. Deep down, you love your family.

An old idea came back to you. You walked over to your desk, produced a pen and paper from one of the drawers. You scrawled out a note, which explained what you have committed yourself to. After you were finished writing, you slid your closet door open, and shrugged on a jacket. You made your way to the front door and walked outside. You could still hear your family’s voices from the other side of the door.

They never noticed.

 *******

You were standing on the bridge that overlooked the nearby river. The moon and the stars were reflecting in the water. You leaned over the railing on the side of the bridge. It was a long drop that will certainly kill you. You’ve thought this through many times, heck, you’ve even played it over and over in your head many times, like a sick, twisted fantasy. You’ve also came out here before with the intention of ending it right then and there, but something held you back.

But now you’re here again. You’re sure you’re going to do it this time.

You slung one leg over the rail, and then the other to where you were sitting now. You took in a deep breath and then--

“you know, I’m pretty sure that those rails aren’t for sitting on,” a low voice said from behind you.

Startled you turned around only to be greeted by a…skeleton? It was hard to tell from where you sat.

“it’s probably best if you get down, before you hurt yourself.” He extended his hand towards you.

You turn around and tried to ignore him, but when you saw the drop again, the fear came crawling back. You were honestly sick of this, not being able to commit. You let out a sigh. You turned around to let him help you down.

When you were safe on the ground, it was easier to see what the newcomer looked like. You were right, he was a skeleton. A short skeleton, whose height barely reaches your chin. His eye sockets were hollow except for a white dot in each one, which you assumed were his eyes.

He shoved his hands back into his pockets. “my name’s sans. sans the skeleton.” He winked. “what’s your name?”

‘My name is—’ Sans was looking at you expectantly. You stopped, realizing that Sans might not know sign language. Your parents usually made you write on a whiteboard, because they refuse to learn sign language. You made a face, totally at a loss without anything to write with or on.

You made a gesture towards Sans saying that you needed some paper and a pen.

“oh no, go on. i know sign language,” he even signed as he spoke.

You smiled and signed your name.

“that’s a nice name. so you’re deaf?” he said, still signing. But corrected himself. “ah wait, but you heard me from the rails, so you’re mute?”

You nodded. ‘Yeah, you actually don’t have to sign while you speak—my hearing’s perfectly fine, actually.’

“cool,” he said, shoving his hands back into his pockets. “so anyways. why are you out here this late?”

Your body suddenly tensed. There was no way you were going to tell him you were about to commit suicide. You felt like he was looking straight through you with those white eyes of his.

‘To look at the stars,’ you quickly signed.

“and that’s all?” he asked.

‘Yes.’

You thought that his expression had darkened for a moment, but you couldn’t be sure. “so, anyways. i’ll walk you home to make sure that you’re safe,” he offered.

Your thoughts drifted back to your family and what just happened. You refused to go back there, but did you really had a choice? Then you remembered that you could just put yourself up at that new hotel in town. ‘I’ll be okay. I actually have a room at a hotel—’ a loud growling sound interrupted you.

Sans grinned. “it sounds like you should grab a bite to eat before heading back. that’s cool. i know a good place.”

 


	2. State of Mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains mature content.

            “we’re here,” Sans said.

            You two stopped in front of a building. You glanced up at the sign: _Grillby’s._ It was a place have heard about, but never been to. You thought that it was about at least another half mile from where the bridge was. How did you get here so fast? You glanced over at Sans who just grinned at you and went inside. You followed.

            When you walked through the doors, you saw that the place was actually a bar. It wasn’t crowded, only a few monsters and humans here and there. Sans walked up to the bar itself and patted the seat next to him.

            “c’mon kiddo. best seat in the house,” he winked.

            You hesitated for a moment before sitting next to the skeleton. He slid a menu towards you. “order anything you like. ‘s all good.”

            You looked down at the menu. When you saw the picture of a hamburger and fries, your stomach seemed to growl in approval. You set aside the menu. When something bright moved into your peripheral, you looked up, startled. It was a fire monster. You glanced over at Sans.

            He raised a hand. “sup grillby?”

            Grillby nodded his acknowledgement to Sans. You couldn’t help but stare. You were trying to process what you were seeing. Was this monster on fire? Or was he made of fire?

            “just the usual.”

            There was a moment of silence. “kiddo?” You realized that you were still staring at Grillby. You could feel your face turning red from embarrassment. You looked away and picked up the menu to gesture what you had decided on.

            Grillby nodded again and headed towards the back. Sans leaned over to you, while looking where Grillby had left. “you know, kiddo, if you need to talk to the grillbz, than i’d be more than happy to translate for ya.”

            He turned to look at you. “what’s wrong?”

            You just stared at Sans. You must’ve also have made a face because Sans said, “huh. should’ve figured that there were still some humans no used to seeing us around.”

            ‘No I was just kind of…caught off guard.’

            “no it’s alright. don’t worry about it.”

            It was only a few seconds of awkward silence, before you started to feel really uncomfortable. You were beginning to notice that it was getting warmer. You shifted in your seat. The movement made Sans look over at you. “you okay there, kiddo?”

            ‘It’s too hot in here.’

            “well i mean grillby’s is the hottest place in town,” he winked.

            You pressed your mouth into a thin line, making Sans laugh. “why not just take it off?”

            You flinched. ‘I’d rather not,’ you said, readjusting your jacket. Sans raised an eyebrow at you and then shrugged.

            ‘So, what were you doing by the bridge?’ you decided to ask to avoid any more awkward silence.

            Sans slouched in his chair and sighed, “heh, i was outside so i could watch the sunset. before i knew it, it was dark and the stars and moon were beginning to shine. so i stayed outside. even after just a couple of years, seeing the sky is still a thrill.”

‘A couple of years?’ Grillby walked up and placed a plate in front of you, and another in front of Sans, which were just fries.

            “since the barrier fell?” He reached over and grabbed the ketchup bottle by your hand. Before he went to pour some on his fries, he offered it to you. You shook your head. He then took a swig of it, making you cringe.

            You then remembered all the publicity that was given to the sudden influx of a new civilization. It caused a controversy. People were either supporting or against these newcomers. Personally, you really didn’t know what to think about them. You were too busy dealing with your own problems. Unfortunately, your parents made it very clear what position they held by demonizing and racist slurs against all monsters.

            ‘Oh yeah!’ you tried to cover up the sudden guilt you felt. ‘What was the Underground like?’

            “you really want to hear about what the underground was like?”

            You nodded.

            Sans began talking about his home and how all the monsters lived. He spoke very fondly of it, but seemed a bit sad when he did. As soon as he mentioned his brother, Papyrus, the entire conversation shifted to stories and praises about him.

 

            You finished your meal as Sans was talking and by the time he was finished, he looked over at you. “so anyways, you said you were staying at a hotel?”

            You nodded.

            “which one?”

            ‘There’s only one around here.’

            “all right,” he stood up. “grillby, put mine and the kiddo’s on my tab.”

            Grillby nodded and went back to what he was doing.

You noticed that Sans didn’t touch his French fries slathered with ketchup. ‘Aren’t you going to eat?’ you asked.

            Sans shrugged. “i’m good. you ready?”

            ‘Ready for what?’

            “i’m gonna walk you to your hotel to make sure you get there safely.’

           

*******

 

            Sans reached out for the door to hold it open for you, but it swung open. The person standing there looked like an orange cat. He was smiling in a way that you could only describe as dead inside. “sup, burgerpants,” Sans said. “didn’t know you worked at a place like this? what happened to your other job? finally managed to get away from that mettaton?” he chuckled.

            Burgerpants smiled wider. “Not at all.”

            You began to notice that there were no other employees. Turning to Sans, you asked, ‘Where’s everyone else?’

            “that’s a good point. where is everyone else?” Sans asked Burgerpants.

            Burgerpants began to shake. “No. I’m here all by myself. Mettaton said that he trusts only me to keep this place running…”

“that asshole.”

He shot Sans a horrid look. “Keep your voice low.”

            “why?”

            He leaned towards Sans. The skeleton was leaning forward to listen, just to humor Burgerpants. In a strained whisper, he said, “ _Because he’s here.”_

As if on cue, you heard a sing-song voice, “Sans!? Is that you?”

            Sans’ expression turned sour. You turned around saw a robot with his hand perched on his hip and his other on his chest. Sans didn’t say anything.

            “Sans?” the robot echoed.

            You looked over at Sans with raised eyebrows. Finally, he turned around. His smile seemed even more unnaturally wider.

            “hi mettaton,” he said, uninterested.

            “So you finally came out to see my new hotel?” Mettaton sounded proud.

            “mmm not really.” Sans gestured to you and said, “just making sure she gets to her hotel room safely.”

            “Hm?” Mettaton’s gaze fell on you, then his face lightened up. “Oh! who is this precious thing?” Mettaton face turned incredulous. He gasped, “Sans…did…did you go out and get yourself a girlfriend?” He glanced over at you then back to Sans,

            ‘No,’ you signed, but Mettaton was looking at Sans instead.

            “yeah sure.” You were confused. Before you could correct him, he said, “i met this girl only about 40 minutes ago and we decided we were destined to be together. what do you think?”

            “Sans!” Mettaton looked absolutely appalled. “It was only a question!”

            Sans shrugged. Mettaton looked back over at you. “So, precious, what is your name?”

            You signed your name, thinking that Sans would help translate, but Mettaton immediately responded, “That’s a lovely name, you—”

            The hotel doors flew opened. You didn’t have enough time to react to two children rushing in. One whisked past you while the other bumped into you and fell to the ground.

            “Aha! I win!” the boy yelled from where the reception desk was.

            “Reese! Rose!” a woman you expected to be their mother appeared at the doorway, smoke suddenly filling the air. You noticed the woman was holding a cigarette.

            “Ma’am, please refrain from smoking in the building. Thank you,” Mettaton said.

            You offered a hand to help the girl up. She took it and you helped her up.

            “Oh, I’m sorry,” the woman left, but came back in a matter of seconds after disposing the cigarette. She walked up to the girl. When she saw her mother getting closer, she tried to escape, but was caught by her wrist. “Rose! You stay right here.” She turned to you and said, “I am so sorry, miss.” She looked back at her daughter, “Rose, apologize to this woman and thank her for helping you up.”

            Rose glanced up at you, then immediately looked away. She muttered something as she fidgeted with her hands.

            “Louder,” her mother said. “And look at who you are speaking to.”       

            Rose looked up at you. “I’m really sorry.”

            “And?” her mother prompted.

            “Thank you for helping me up.” Then Rose dashed towards Reese.

            The woman turned to her son by the desk. “Reese, you too.”

            “I’m sorry, miss!” Reese called from his place, his hand still on the desk.

            The woman sighed and looked back at you. “I’m sorry about that.”

            You just nodded once. The woman smiled and went over to the desk.

            “are you okay?” Sans asked.   You nodded. ‘I gotta go over and get a room.’

            The white lights in his eye sockets narrowed. He shrugged. “okay cool. I’ll be right here.”

            You walked over to the desk, right behind the woman. You caught the end of the twins’ conversation. “—an idea! Listen to this, Reese.” Reese leaned towards his sister and she started to whisper.

            “Rose, Reese, let’s go,” the woman began to walk away from the desk. Rose was still whispering to Reese. Their mother started to walk away slowly, “I’m leaving!”

            Rose finished was telling Reese and called to her mother, “We’re coming!” And like that, they were off.

            You stepped up to Burgerpants at the desk. He kept eyeing Mettaton behind you, but he was preoccupied with Sans. “How can I help you, little buddy?”

            ‘I need a room for a couple nights.’

            “I’m sorry, little buddy. I don’t know sign language.”

            You nodded and held up a finger to signal that you’ll be back, but Burgerpants was looking away, ranting. “I would’ve probably have learned, but nope. I decided to throw my life away. I—”

            You walked up to Sans and got his attention by placing your hand on his shoulder. “sup, buddy?”

            ‘Can you come up with me and translate to Burgerpants?’

            “yeah sure,” Sans said. To Mettaton in a relieved voice, “sorry, i gotta go help the kiddo.”

            “All right,” Mettaton seemed to deflate. Then his face lit up a little bit. “Can you be a dear, and tell Papyrus I said hello?”

            “maybe.”

            Mettaton turned to you, “And to you, precious, please enjoy your stay~” He winked and stuck his tongue out.

            Sans’ hand flew up to your shoulder. “yeah, i’m sure she will. goodbye,” he turned the two of you around.

            You gave Sans a confused look as he walks you over to the desk. When he catches your eye, he just winks. Burgerpants was still ranting when you came back.

            With Sans’ help, you were able to get a room.

            “Do you have any bags to take up to your room?” Burgerpants asked.

            “don’t worry about it,” Sans translated.

            “Oh, but I do worry about it,” Burgerpants was on edge again. “It’s my job and if I don’t do my job…Mettaton will…will…” He looked down. Then back at you. “Please don’t do this to me.”

            “what i think she means is that she has none.”

 

 

            Burgerpants looked at you with utter dismay. Then he realized that you did not bring any bags with you, and then calmed down. “Enjoy your stay, little buddy.” He handed you a keycard. You glanced at the room number printed at the top: 205. You headed towards the elevator with Sans walking beside you.

            “so did they just forgot you were staying here or something?”

            He leaned forward and pressed the up arrow for you. 

            ‘What?’

            “i thought you said you were already booked a room?”           

            Your stomach dropped as you began to realize that Sans may know that you are hiding something. ‘No it was a reservation. I guess it didn’t go through.’

            The elevator doors opened and the two of you walked in. “and you’re traveling without bags?” he asked.

            ‘I’m a minimalist?’ You cursed yourself for making it seem more like a question than a statement.

            You nervously glanced over at Sans hoping he just bought it and stops asking questions. He was just staring at you with a blank expression. The elevator dinged and its doors opened.

            Sans closed his eyes and shrugged. “all right.”

            You both stepped out and went down the hallway looking for Room 205. You two found it and were standing by the door. ‘Thank you for walking me here. I appreciate it.’

            “no problem. oh and hey. about that mettaton guy? don’t let him near you. he’s bad news.”

            ‘He is? I thought he seemed nice. A little overbearing, but nice.’

            Sans squinted his eyes in disgust. “let me give you my phone number just in case he bothers you.”

You shrugged. ‘Okay.’

            Both of you took out your cellphones and exchanged phone numbers by handing it to the other. Sans looked at his phone like he was trying to memorize your number and then shoved it back into his pockets. “okay cool.”

            He looked back up at you. “i actually got to get going. it’s ‘bout time for pap’s bedtime story. g’night.” He winked before he headed back towards the elevators.

 

            You went inside your hotel room. Everything was quiet again, allowing yourself to breathe. The first thing you did was walked right into the bathroom. You looked right into the mirror and you shrugged your jacket off. When it slid down, you saw those familiar scars all over your arms.

            That was when you heard your phone go off. You took it out and read the message:

           

            **Mom:** Don’t think that I let your attitude an hour ago slip by. I will discuss it with your father and we will decide on what to do.

 

            Your phone rang again, a message popping up underneath. Your eyes became wet.

 

            **Mom:** It’s not fair that your father and I work so hard and Vanessa is doing great at school, and you’re at home doing absolutely nothing. You need to get into college by next term.

 

            You put your phone down, because you knew where this was headed. You’ve been through this conversation so many times since you’ve graduated. You tried your best with moving on your own, but there were so many things preventing you. But they didn’t think of it that way.

            _Beep_. _Beep_.

            Your phone received message after message. You knew exactly what she was going on about. Tears streamed down your face as dread began to engulf you, intensifying every time you heard your phone go off.

            It was easy to remember the guilt the first time your parents sat you down and had this conversation. You clawed at your arms, fingernails tearing at the skin. You were beginning to feel a wetness on your arms. It wasn’t enough. You reached inside the pockets of your jeans and pulled out a small razor you removed from a cheap pencil sharpener. You held the blade against your arm, it was hard to see because of your tears. You drew a line across the inside of your arm. Blood began to seep out. Just as you were about to do another cut, you heard a new noise that startled you, making you drop the blade onto the floor. You looked over at your phone. You could tell that its screen was lit, even with blurred vision. You paused. You normally left the ringtone on default.

            You picked the blade off the floor and placed it on the counter. You sighed. You’ll have to clean it before you could use it again. You picked up your phone, trying to get your vision to focus through the tears.

 

            **Sans:** ‘s nice to meet ya. hang out again soon?

                                                                                                 

            You realized that Sans must’ve set his own ringtone while he was putting his information in your phone. You didn’t really expect Sans to text you. At least not this soon. You looked at the blade sitting on the counter and then back at Sans’ text. You placed your face in your hands and drew in a shaky breath.


End file.
